Left, Right and 'Thoda sa' Centre: What is Heaven?

Recently I ran into some friends I had not met since the lockdown, and together, we were looking back upon the year that was. Suddenly, out of the blue, I was reminded of Lakshmi -- my house help, who left for her hometown when her husband lost his job during the lockdown. She hasn’t returned yet. I often catch myself wondering how she is doing -- in fact, I'd written about her last year too. You can find that post here.

I remembered a certain conversation we'd had, when the lockdown had just begun. One day, I was typing a letter of apology to a teacher who my son had been rude to in his online class. I kept typing and deleting repeatedly, not being able to decide on the right words that would convince the teacher of my sincerity. The doorbell rang. I opened the door to let Lakshmi in. She came in, smiling at my preoccupied look. “Busy?” “Oh, don’t ask…I'm in heaven,” I said disgustedly. “You must be on the computer,” she grinned. “Some tea?”

She came with the tea, a bit later. “You know, didi (sister) there are four kinds of heaven,” she said without preamble. “And, which are they?” I said partly, to distract myself, because I was just unable to frame the letter, and partly because, from her reflective tone, I could guess she'd been thinking about something.

She took a sip from her cup. “Pehla swarg hai nirogi kaya (Heaven is when you have a healthy body). Isn’t it a bit like heaven when you have a body that allows you to do what you want? I want to die before I get to be my grandmother’s age and have to be carried everywhere.”

She looked into the distance, dabbing her forehead with the end of her sari. “Phir swarg hai thodi si maya (Next, heaven is when you have just enough illusion, ie worldly possessions) some money, some love, not too much attachment to things you own…if a toy breaks, you shouldn’t go to pieces over it.” Wow….talk of daily, living, breathing detachment, I thought to myself.

She knew she had my undivided attention. “Teesra swarg hai putra aagyakaari, (The third kind of heaven is having an obedient son/children that obey you)” she went on. “If you have obedient offspring consider that you are in heaven. Obedient children are capable of showing you heaven.” I glanced at the unfinished mail on the screen and laughed out aloud. “Now you are talking,” I said, explaining to her what I'd been busy with before she came. “See? I was right!” she giggled.

“Aur chautha (And the fourth one?)” I egged her on, now quite involved in the conversation, and wondering what she would come up with next. “Chautha swarg hai patiprem ki phulwaari (The fourth kind of heaven is the garden of your husband’s love)”. “What are the flowers of this garden?” I grinned. “Oh, anything…. any small signs of affection that your husband shows you, for eg, his smile when you offer him a glass of water.”

“If we switch gender, what would heaven be for your husband?” I questioned playfully. “Oh, for him it would be “pativrata naari (the devoted wife),” she said instantly. “If I offer him a glass of water, seeing how tired he is when he comes back home from work, he should feel as if it is amrit (nectar).” She got up to begin mopping the floor.

“Swarg koi aane jaane ki cheez thodi hai, didi….yeh to pheel karne ki cheez hai.” (Heaven isn’t a place that we come from or go to when we die, sister.... it’s something that we feel or experience as we live.) She said matter of factly, beginning her daily routine.