Ek Radha, Ek Meera - The Eternal Valentines

(Pic credit - Pinterest/Nidhi Rathore's pin)

Happy Valentine’s Day everyone – and love, always!

In my second novel, The Tainted Communion, Rudraaksh engraves a wooden plaque for Meera with a couplet from Sant Kabir:

 Akath Kahani Prem Ki, Kuch Kahi Na Jaye 

Goonge Keri Sarkara, Baithe Muskaaye

For eons, poets and musicians have indulged in myriad expressions of love. Yet, Sant Kabir chose ‘a mute man eating sweets’ to represent this intangible feeling that cannot really be put into words. It’s the metaphor that appealed to me the most too. Because, as they say - Maano to Bhagwaan, na Maano to Pashaan – so, is love. Its only definition and comparison is to itself, that applies to and is felt by the one who experiences it. So as people differ, the definition and comparison differ and the experience differs too. 

Ravindra Jain’s masterpiece - Ek Radha, Ek Meera – from Raj Kapoor’s last directorial venture, Ram Teri Ganga Maili (1985), captures this subjectivity beautifully. Much like the juxtaposition of a myth with present-day realities in the film’s theme, the song pits Radha (Krishna’s mythical consort) against Meera (the 16^th-century mystical poet-saint-devotee of Krishna from Rajasthan). Leaving that dichotomy aside, let’s focus on the symbolism, on this Valentine’s Day, to understand love a little differently.

एक राधा एक मीरा, दोनों ने श्याम को चाहा

अंतर क्या दोनों की चाह में बोलो

एक प्रेम दीवानी एक दरस दीवानी

 There is a Radha, and there is a Meera; both desired Krishna

Can you differentiate between their desires?

One longs for His love, one longs for the sight of Him

To each his own. Radha is emblematic of love (prem) and Meera of devotion (bhakti). In a restricted context, the former symbolises an equal relationship between two entities; the latter, the aspiring of an inferior towards something superior. One passion, the other surrender. Will it then be fair to say that Radha’s love was devoid of devotion and Meera’s devotion devoid of love? No, because love and devotion are different stages of the same emotion. At best, one paves way for the other and both lead to the same goal – Krishna. This is the jivatma aspiring for the paramatma – in its own unique way.

राधा ने मधुबन में ढूँढा, मीरा ने मन में पाया

राधा जिसे खो बैठी वो गोविन्द मीरा हाथ बिक आया

एक मुरली एक पायल, एक पगली एक घायल

अंतर क्या दोनों की प्रीत में बोलो

एक सूरत लुभानी एक मूरत लुभानी

एक प्रेम दीवानी एक दरस दीवानी

Radha searched for Him in Madhuban, Meera discovered Him in her heart

The one Radha loses, loses Himself to Meera

One is the flute on his lips, the other his anklet

One has lost her mind in love, the other is wounded

Can you differentiate between their affection?

One is smitten by the beauty of his face, one is smitten by the beauty of his idol

One longs for His love, one longs for the sight of Him

Radha, Krishna’s childhood sweetheart, was His companion in rasa lila in the groves and bowers of Madhuban. Every time He played His flute, she lost sense of time, space, and self, and ran to Him. Quite like Shiv (Supreme Consciousness) and Shakti (Power) or Purush-Prakriti, Radha (Lakshmi) is inseparable and indistinguishable from Krishna (Vishnu) and vice-versa. Yet, she lets him go to Mathura, never to see him again, and lives out her human avatar as someone else’s wife. She loses her beloved, as the world perceives it, but only she knows the ultimate truth. This is her source of strength that keeps her devoted to and one with Krishna spiritually despite the physical separation - Atma Tu Radhika Tasya (Radha, you are His soul).

Meera is married to a Rajput crown prince, but considers Krishna as her husband. She practices severe austerities, flouts all social conventions, writes and sings passionate songs of devotion, but remains steadfast on her path until the very end. To the world, she gains nothing tangible, rather loses everything. But so strong is her knowledge of the truth that nothing can veer her off course.

Both Radha and Meera are tormented by viraha or pangs of separation but it’s a pain they rejoice in equally. They are equally constant in their attachment that cannot be defined or understood in worldly or material terms. Ultimately, Krishna is equally accessible to both.

(Pic credit: Pinterest/Pin by Amita, saved to Krishna paintings)

मीरा के प्रभु गिरिधर नागर, राधा के मनमोहन

राधा नित श्रृंगार करे, और मीरा बन गयी जोगन

एक रानी एक दासी, दोनों हरि प्रेम की प्यासी

अंतर क्या दोनों की तृप्ति में बोलो

एक जीत न मानी एक हार न मानी

एक प्रेम दीवानी एक दरस दीवानी

He is Meera’s Giridhar Nagar, and Radha’s Manmohan

Radha adorns herself with ornaments while Meera relinquishes all and becomes a hermitess

One is His queen, the other His minion; both thirst for Hari’s love

Can you differentiate between their satiation?

One does not accept victory; the other does not accept defeat

One longs for His love, one longs for the sight of Him

This is my favourite part of the song! Despite the stark differentiation, here, Meera and Radha exchange places. If one looks deep, one realises that this verse applies to both the women.

Meera worships Krishna as Giridhar Nagar – the one who lifted the mountain (symbolising steadfastness of truth/faith against challenges). To Radha, He is Manmohan – the one who pleases or enchants the heart. Challenge and enchantment are interwoven in the myth of Radha as well as the history of Meera.

Radha is a milkmaid, but being the source of Krishna’s rasa (his pleasure potency), she does everything that pleases Him and becomes the queen of His heart. She is not only devoted to Him but is also the object of His devotion. Despite this, she does not accept her victory. She lets him go. According to a legend, years later, when Krishna falls sick and the only prescribed cure is the smearing of the dust of somebody's feet on His forehead, it is Radha who comes forth, thereby sacrificing years of tapasya and her chance of attaining moksha and trapping herself in the karmic cycle. It is not an easy choice, but to the true lover, it comes easily. By losing, she wins.

Meera is factually a queen, but she surrenders everything, including her self, to please Krishna. She gives up her royal privileges and luxuries, defies social norms, challenges Rajput patriarchy, escapes assassination attempts, and asserts her right to worship and live for Krishna. Despite all the challenges, she does not accept defeat. Her choices are no less difficult but she makes them easily. In her striving to win Krishna, she loses all.

Hence, the lover and the devotee are equally enamoured of the beloved but they attain Him in their own different ways. One’s adornment is as appealing to God as the other’s asceticism because He does not distinguish between the paths, only the sanctity and intensity of feeling – and there is no distinction there between Radha and Meera – prem and bhakti.

(Pic credit: Pinterest/Pin by ModAine SPIRITisTree)

Devotion is the principal way to love God (or anything else); and without true love, true devotion is not possible. When Meera (according to legends) merges with Krishna’s idol she dissolves into Radha too who is already a part of Krishna. Bhakti and prem become interchangeable.

Krishna, Radha and Meera – the worshipped/loved and the worshipper/lover, and the act of worshipping/loving itself - are therefore one and the same. It’s an example we can all learn from today. As Sant Kabir says in another couplet,

योगी जंगम जीवड़ा  सनियासी दरवेश |

बिना प्रेम  पहुँचे नहीं दुरलभ सतिगुरु देश |

No yogi, living being, ascetic, or mendicant (sufi) has ever reached God’s unattainable abode without love. And such love demands complete surrender of body, mind, and self (ego) – in other words, it demands true devotion. This is the path of Radha, and the path of Meera.

In our lives too, whatever it is that we aspire for – a person, an ideal, a thing, a goal, and even God – this is the only path to attain it.

So, which do you think is greater, love or devotion or an indefinable mix of both? Do let us know in the comments section. And as always, do like, share, follow and subscribe to leftrightthodasacenter.blogspot.com

Go Retro This Valentine's

A moveable card from the 1900's

With Valentine’s Day around the corner, people of all ages are gearing up to celebrate the day.  Left, Right and ‘Thoda Sa’ Centre collected the traditions around the day dating back to the 1400s from across the globe.  We hope that this article will help you (in true retro fashion) to get out-of-the-box ideas to win over your valentine with some old-fashioned charm that never goes out of  style.

Early Valentine Customs in England

Celebration of Valentine’s Day began in England as early as the 1400s.  Charles, the Duke of Orleans, a Frenchman, was captured during the Battle of Agincourt in 1415 and imprisoned in England.  Historians have found evidence that he sent a rhymed love letter from his cell in the Tower of London to his wife on Valentine’s Day. How’s that for some die-hard romance? 

3D valentines that open to stand by themselves
and fold for mailing

One of the oldest customs was the practice of writing women’s names on slips of paper and drawing them from a jar/urn.  The woman whose name was drawn by a man became his valentine.  She then received special attention and gifts from the man.  In some places, it was the tradition to gift one’s valentine a pair of gloves.  Wealthy men were known to throw fancy dress balls in honour of their valentine (loaded men having a ball ... as always, I guess).

 

In Britain and Italy, there was a belief that if an unmarried woman stood by her window since before sunrise on Valentine’s Day, the first man she saw would marry her (or at least, someone who looked like him!)  This belief finds a mention in Hamlet (1603) where Ophelia sings:

“Good ‘Morrow!  ‘Tis St Valentine’s Day

All in the morning betime

And I a maid at your window

To be your valentine!”

 

Many Valentine’s Day customs (to date) involve women being paired with their future husbands.  In one such custom from the 1700s, Englishwomen would write names of men on scraps of paper, each of which would be rolled in clay and dropped into water.  The first paper that rose to the surface was supposed to have the name of the woman’s true love (must be some really water-resistant paper, I’m sure, that first freed itself off of heavy and sticky stuff like clay AND then floated to the top…. that’s the power of love, baby).

A card by Louis Prang 
of Boston from the 1800's

 Another custom in the 1700s involved unmarried women pinning five bay leaves to their pillows (one in the centre and one in each of the corners) on the eve of Valentine’s Day.  If the charm worked, they would see their future husband in their dreams! (Necessitating them to remember their dreams on waking up)

 

In Derbyshire (a county in central England), unmarried women circled the church 3 or 12 times, repeating the following verse,

“I sow hempseed

Hempseed I sow

He that loves me best

Come after me now”

 

One particular description of Valentine’s Day during the 1700s mentions a group of men drawing their valentines’ names from a jar and pinning the same to their sleeves for several days before the event.  Guess now we know where the saying “wearing his heart on his sleeve” probably originated!

Present day Europe 

Romantic Valentine of 1830s from Britain

British children sing special Valentine’s Day songs and receive gifts of candy, fruit, or money.  In some parts of England, people bake special Valentine’s Day buns with caraway seed, raisins, or plums. 

 

In Denmark, people send pressed white flowers called snowdrops to their friends.  Men also send a type of valentine called gaekkebrev (joking letter), wherein they write a rhyme and sign the letter with dots instead of their name (the number of dots equalling the number of letters in the man’s name).  If the recipient guesses his name, she is gifted an Easter egg on Easter day.  But this situation is so made for heartbreak I should think, when the girl keeps dreaming until Easter (a good two months down the line) that it’s Peter, when it turns out it was Harry, and that Tim was actually Sid)

 

The tradition of signing valentines with dots can be found in Britain too (maybe that’s how they invented the Morse code).

The USA and Canada

The oldest American Valentine
from 1700's with a German Verse

Children mostly make their own valentines using paper doilies, red paper, pictures from magazines and craft items, utilizing their own creativity.  They then exchange these valentines with their friends in school and even gift the choicest ones to their parents (high hopes!).  Some schools are known to conduct classroom parties wherein all the valentines are collected in a decorated box and then drawn randomly.

An American Valentines from 1890's

 

Older students are known to hold Valentine’s Day dances and parties.   They also make candy baskets, gifts and place cards trimmed with cupids and hearts (many of which land up in waste baskets, I’m sure, following discoveries of devastating truths).  People also send flowers, candies/chocolates and gifts to their spouses (lucky ones) or sweethearts.

This American Valentine from the Civil War Period
had flaps that opened to reveal a Union Soldier
Writing to his Valentine

Commercialisation of Valentines

This Kate Greenaway card was 
printed in the 1880's

The first commercial valentines made their appearance as early as the 1800s.  They were usually blank inside for the sender to write a personal message.  In the late 1800s, British artist Kate Greenaway became famous for her valentines featuring charming pictures of happy children and beautiful gardens.

This Ether Howland card from 1850 has a
lace frame and stuffed satin center

 

Esther A Howland of Worcester, Massachusetts was one of the first US manufacturers of commercial valentines.  Her inspiration was a valentine from Great Britain in 1847.  She initially made samples and took orders from stores, going on to hire an all-women staff, when her business expanded to a $100,000-a-year enterprise.  Most of the valentines in the 1800s were hand painted and trimmed with stain, lace, ribbons.  Some were decorated with dried flowers.  Most of them had either a fat cupid or arrows piercing the heart painted on them.   Some were even decorated with pearls and stones!

Modern Valentines 

 Towards the end of 1800 and the early 1900s, a new trend set in of sending comic valentines with insulting messages, which were sold for a penny.  They were known as the penny dreadfuls (which have since become collector’s dreams, I guess).  One such penny dreadful is quoted below:

“‘Tis all in vain, your simpering looks,

You never can incline

With all your bustles, stays and curls,

To find a valentine”

(Hmm, smacks of sour grapes…...the sender found out she fancied someone else!)

 

So dear readers, these were some quaint customs and traditions from around the world on Valentine’s Day.  As you begin planning personal celebrations, let us know if there were any you chose to make your Valentine’s day different from the rest (retro is in, remember?).  And if you are interested in knowing the history behind Valentine's Day, you can find it here (St Valentine’s Day - The Legend V/s Myth).

 

Credits:  All the pictures in this post have been taken from The World Book Encyclopaedia Vol 20; I inherited the whole set from my father. (Thanks Daddy, for making Valentine’s Day 2021 memorable -- not to mention how many others!)